Stuck Between Here and There

I’ve been living

stuck between here and there—

between who I was

and who I’m trying to become,

between letting go

and still looking back.

Nothing feels settled.

The past still pulls at me

like it wants another chance,

while the future stands distant,

blurred out

like something I’m not sure

I’ll ever reach.

So I exist in the middle.

Half-healed.

Half-hoping.

Halfway out of places

that no longer fit me

but still feel familiar enough

to miss.

And maybe

that’s why it hurts so much—

because becoming

isn’t clean.

It’s uncomfortable.

Lonely.

A constant tug-of-war

between comfort

and growth.

Some days

I want to run backward—

toward old habits,

old people,

old versions of myself

that at least knew

what to expect.

But something in me

keeps moving forward anyway.

Even slowly.

Even scared.

Because deep down

I know

I can’t stay suspended forever.

Eventually

I’ll have to choose

what parts of me

come with me

and what parts

have to be left behind.

Until then—

I’ll keep standing

in this in-between place,

trying to believe

that lost

and becoming

sometimes look

exactly the same.